Absent

You may have noticed that a weekly devotional has not been posted for quite sometime. You may have also noticed that there are times a devotional is not posted every week. So, this week I decided to make a post to explaining the lack of posting, my absence. I feel it is important to be transparent with you.

First and foremost this devotional is a ministry. I believe that doing ministry is very serious. I feel it is important to have the right heart posture and be in the right place with The Lord. There are times when I am not in the right posture or place with The Lord. Then there are times when I am in a low place. During the lows, it is a battle to pour out a devotional. Sometimes, I have pushed through and have poured out a devotional during those times. I have felt like those devotionals could have been better. I feel like I could have dug deeper with writing those devotionals. So, with those feelings, I sometimes choose not to post because I feel as though it is unfair to you, the reader, to get a devotional that could be lacking in depth.

I say all of that not to say that the ones I have posted thus far are not good quality. They are good quality. But, I do think there was room to go deeper. I must not let these thoughts or feelings discourage me. Rather I must see that there is room for more devotionals and a door to revisit topics and verses in the future.

Yeah, so that is why I have been absent. The absence does not entirely mean that I have not been working or have not been with Jesus. It just means I have been absent from posting but not from working. You see there have been moments of silence and isolation. There have been moments of loudness and presence. I have struggled and wrestled during those times. I have poured out my heart loudly to God, and have sat in silence with my emotions trying to hear God speak during those times. Within the struggle and wrestle, the loudness and silence, I have repented and surrendered, and God has given me times of refreshing. In those moments, God reveals more of Himself to me. He shows me how the Scriptures connect and teaches me The Scriptures through my experiences. It hasn’t always been instantly that I have traded my sorrows for joy. Sometimes it has taken days or weeks. But when I come out of the mess, I grow.

How could I know that no weapon formed against me will prosper if I never had a weapon try to form against me? How could I know to cast all my anxieties on Him because He cares if I never had anything to be anxious about? How could I learn to be patient in affliction if I never had any affliction? You will find the depth from sermons, books, and works from ministers of the faith often come from places of great sorrow.

I hope this encourages you that it is okay to take time to stop and pause with The Lord. I hope it helps you to see transparency, and I hope it helps you to see my heart. I pray that as you finish reading in your times of absence, loneliness, or isolation you will run to The Dwelling Place to become Empty and surrender whatever you need to no matter how Costly, and that Times of Refreshing will come and make you New Renewed and Transformed so that you would be on High Pursuit again.